What if "The Stranger" had never been published? What if Camus' great achievement had never been recognized? Here we have a little fun envisioning what a rejection of this classic work of existentialist literature would look like to brighten your otherwise morose day.
July 14th, 1942
Dear M. Camus,
I regret to inform you that we
cannot publish your novel "The Stranger", which appears to have been
written on the inside of French cigarette packs and mailed from some obscure
Algerian prison. It took our intern weeks to piece it all together in the
proper order, but she finally managed after many glasses of red wine and tears
of frustration.
Do not think that I came to this
decision lightly. I sat for a long time contemplating your character's
situation, staring at the walls of my office, watching the flies buzzing around
my head, feeling hot and uncomfortable as the sun beat down through the
skylight and the sweat dripped down over my eyelids. While setting half your
story in an Algerian prison may seem exotic and original, I found it hot and
claustrophobic. My intern threatened to quit unless I opened a window or turned
on the air conditioning, but in the end I decided to dismiss her, thinking that
would be the most humane thing to do.
I found it hard to sympathize
with your character, Meursault. First because he smokes in almost every scene,
and second because he was so indifferent, ambivalent, and unambitious. To tell
you the truth, most of my interns fit this description. Perhaps a better title
for the novel would be "The Intern." At least that way you would have
an easier time finding an audience and plugging your novel via social media.
Plus, I would seriously reconsider the ending. The buzzword in publishing these
days is HEA, which means "Happily Ever After" but it could also mean "Horrible
Endings Always." I'm not really sure and it doesn't really matter anyway.
Apathetically yours,
Harold Meaningless
Sisyphus Publishers
