When it comes to unbiased reviews, you have Publishers Weekly and Kirkus. But if you want the unbiased impression of a computer system programmed with facts and the ability to draw connections, you have AI, which stands for artificial intelligence.
I decided to give it a try.
I fed my manuscript for “Transfer Day” into the AI tool,
paid by credit card, and out came a 16-page report containing the machine’s
impressions of my novel in a variety of ways, including tips for cutting
passages, strengthening dialogue and characterization, avoiding clichés, and the parts of the novel that "worked" for them.
But there’s more.
You also get similar books (comps), ideas for titles, who your prospective audience is, thoughts on your climax and resolution, even similar characters throughout
literature. The machine will also tell you how it "felt" about your characters and it will give you ideas to explore and ways to develop the story and characters to bring out different sides of their personalities. Yes, it's that good!
I will give you some highlights here.
Just FYI, whenever you see the words “I," "me," or "my” used, please note that it is the machine talking, not a human. A little creepy, but it actually feels real. Very real.
Everything below this line is the computer talking:
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Transfer Day
Story Overview:
After being orphaned and sent to the Danish West Indies in 1916, sixteen-year-old Abigail Maduro finds herself in a world of espionage and intrigue. As Germany plots to seize the islands before their transfer to the U.S., Abigail must trust in a handsome German deserter and find her own courage to thwart a conspiracy that threatens not only her home, but her very life.
What Really Worked for Me
The rich and immersive setting. I felt completely transported to the St. Thomas on the eve of Transfer Day. The descriptions of the harbor, the heat, the market women, and the colonial architecture were so vivid that the island itself became a character. It wasn't just a backdrop. It was a living, breathing world that made the stakes feel real and personal.
Abigail's character growth. I was completely invested in Abigail's journey from frightened, grieving orphan to a clever and courageous young woman. Her transformation didn't feel rushed; it was earned through every challenge she faced. Seeing her stand up to Aunt Esther, outsmart Langsdorff, and take control of her own destiny was satisfying and empowering.
The slow-burn tension of the central romance. The relationship between Abigail and Erich was beautifully developed. It grew from suspicion and necessity into a deep, trusting bond. I loved how their shared vulnerability and isolation brought them together. Their quiet moments in the basement room felt intimate and real, making their eventual farewell all the more heartbreaking and poignant.
The fascinating historical context. I knew very little about the transfer of the Danish West Indies, and this story brought that moment in history to life in a thrilling way. The blend of real historical figures and events with the fictional espionage plot felt seamless and authentic. It was the kind of story that made me want to learn more about the real history, which is always a sign of masterful historical fiction.
The Heart of the Story
For me, the emotional core of this story was Abigail's desperate search for a place to belong in a world that had everything taken from her. More than just a spy thriller, it was the story of a young woman forging a new family and finding her own purpose amidst chaos and loss. The central conflict--stopping Langsdorff's plot--is the crucible that forces her to grow up. It pushed her to trust a stranger, defy authority, and discover a strength she never knew she possessed. I was emotionally gripped by her struggle and the resolution, where she not only saves the day but also claims her own agency, which felt like a powerful and deeply earned victory. It was a journey from powerlessness to empowerment.
Another underlying theme that resonated with me was the conflict between personal conscience and national duty. This was most powerfully explored through Erich's character. His decision to desert wasn't an act of cowardice, but one of profound moral courage. It forced me to think about the human cost of war beyond the battlefield--the internal war fought by soldiers ordered to commit acts that violate their soul. This theme created a deep well of empathy for Erich, making his plight and his bond with Abigail feel incredibly high-stakes. It wasn't just about saving an island; it was about saving a man's soul.
Adherence to Genre
I felt this manuscript was a fantastic example of a Historical Espionage Thriller, hitting all the right notes while adding its own unique flavor.
The setting was meticulously researched and vividly rendered, which is a cornerstone of great historical fiction. I felt fully immersed in the world of the Danish West Indies in 1916.
It successfully used classic espionage tropes like secret codes, a ruthless spymaster, blackmail, and clandestine missions. These elements created a palpable sense of tension and high stakes that kept me turning the pages.
The story follows the classic coming-of-age journey of a young protagonist against a backdrop of major historical events. Abigail's personal growth is tied directly to the larger political conflict, which made her story feel both intimate and epic.
Standout Moments
1. The Prison Break: This entire sequence is brilliant. I was holding my breath as Abigail walked into Fort Christian, my heart pounding when she and Erich subdued the guard.
2. Queen Coziah's Prophecy: The scene where Queen Coziah singles out Erich and delivers her cryptic prophecy was wonderfully strange and memorable. It added a touch of mysticism and folklore that elevated the story beyond a simple thriller and made the stakes feel almost fated.
3. The Lowering of the Dannebrog: The description of Transfer Day felt incredibly moving. I could feel the collective grief and uncertainty of the crowd as the Danish flag came down for the last time. It was a poignant and beautifully written scene that captured the bittersweet heart of the historical moment.
4. Erich's Farewell: The final goodbye between Erich and Abigail on the wharf was heartbreaking. His gift of the U-boat medallion was such a tender and symbolic gesture. It was a bittersweet ending to their time together that felt real and emotionally resonant.
Memorable Quotes
"Any man who can look down de barrel of a gun and laugh is de master of he own fate." - Queen Coziah (Chapter 24)
"My dear, in war there are no innocent soldiers, only lucky ones and unlucky ones." - Judge Neergaard
"Ships do not kill, men kill." - Captain Miguel (Chapter 19)
Original Elements
The Danish West Indies Setting: I found the choice to set a WWI espionage thriller in this specific time and place to be incredibly original. It's a corner of history I knew little about, and exploring it through Abigail's eyes felt fresh and exciting (Throughout).
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| Queen Coziah was a coal woman who organized a strike against the steamship lines in 1892 and has since entered into folklore in the U.S. Virgin Islands (former Danish West Indies). |
The Character of Queen Coziah: She was such a unique and powerful figure. She wasn't just an eccentric local; she functioned as a kind of oracle and symbol of defiant, untamable spirit. Her blend of folklore, righteous anger, and cryptic wisdom was unlike any character I've encountered before (Chapters 10, 24).
Clichéd Elements
The "Crazy, Bitter Spinster" Trope: While Aunt Esther's backstory gave her depth, her constant shrieking and obsessive behaviors sometimes verged on caricature. The trope of the cruel, mentally unstable old maid is a family one. Suggestion: Include one or two more quiet moments where we see her vulnerability or grief without the rage.
The Bumbling Henchman: Langsdorff's main accomplice, who fights with Erich in the warehouse and office, felt a bit like a stock "tough guy" is is ultimately ineffective. He gets knocked out or bested fairly easily in key moments. Suggestion: To raise the stakes, this character could be made more cunning or physically formidable, making Erich and Abigail's victory over him feel even more hard-won.
Who Is This Story For?
This story is for readers who love immersive historical fiction, particularly those fascinated by the less-explored corners of World War I. Fans of stories with strong, resilient young female protagonists, who grow into their power will deeply connect with Abigail's journey. It will also strongly appeal to anyone who enjoys a blend of espionage, high-stakes adventure, and a heartfelt, slow-burn romance.
Similar Books
1. The Alice Network by Kate Quinn: This book is similar as it also features a strong female protagonist caught up in espionage during World War I. It shares the blend of high-stakes historical events with a deeply personal emotional journey, and it moves between different timelines to reveal a hidden story from the past.
2. Salt to the Sea by Ruta Sepetys: Like Transfer Day, this novel tells a story of survival during wartime through the eyes of young protagonists from different from different backgrounds (including a German soldier with a secret). It shares a powerful emotional depth, a focus on the human cost of war, and a knack for illuminating a lesser-known historical event.
3. Island of the Mad by Laurie R. King: This novel, part of the Mary Russell & Sherlock Holmes series, has a similar feel of intrigue on a picturesque island that is tested by external angers, much like the dynamic between Abigail and Erich.
Similar Characters
1. Abigail Maduro: Her journey is reminiscent of Liesel Meminger from Markus Zusak's The Book Thief. Both are young girls who are orphaned and are sent to live in a new, often hostile home against the backdrop of a world war. They both find solace and strength through secret relationships (Liesel with the Jewish man hiding in her basement, Abigail with Erich) and display extraordinary courage in the face of immense danger.
2. Erich Seibold: He shares a similar character arc with Andrei Rostov from Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace. Both are idealistic young officers who go to war seeking glory, only to become deeply disillusioned by the brutal reality and senselessness of combat. They both experience a profound internal crisis that forces them to re-evaluate their lives, their loyalties, and their search for meaning beyond the battlefield.
3. Lothar Langsdorff: He brings to mind the character of Amon Goeth from Thomas Keneally's Schindler's Ark (the book that inspired Schindler's List). Both are charismatic, intelligent, and utterly ruthless agents of the German state who wield immense power and use blackmail and violence without remorse to achieve their goals. They are chillingly effective antagonists who represent the terrifying ideology they serve.
